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Ho, ho, no

It’s that time of year again. The time when we are bombarded by a mountain of advertisements touting the “must” have gifts of the season, when we are faced with a near endless supply of cheesy Christmas movies to watch, and many of us frantically try to decide what to wear to the office holiday party. In Christmas’ past, I have worked myself up into a frenzy trying to mail out Christmas cards in time to arrive to before Christmas day, have shopped for a gift or two, watched a couple of cheesy Christmas movies, and have cranked up the volume on Handel’s “Hallelujah.” This Christmas, nothing, zip, nada, zero. I haven’t addressed one Christmas card, shopped for any gifts, listened to anything sounding remotely like Handel’s “Hallelujah,” and yesterday afternoon I pulled the plug on a cheesy Christmas movie. All signs point to tis’ being the season I opt out of Christmas. Subconsciously, I think I opted out of Christmas far in advance of the now 6 days left until its arrival.  If it wasn’t for all of the shopping channels I get sucked into watching when I hibernate at home, it honestly wouldn’t have registered into my mind that Christmas is only 6 days away. My Christmas spirit gone bye, bye this year isn’t a case of the Grinch stealing my Christmas, and no, you will not hear one bah humbug out of this girl. My mother having been ill for a good majority of the year, culminating in her death in June, along with having the life and soul’s blood choked out of me on a near daily basis at an uninspiring and un-fulfilling job has no doubt led to this “meh” attitude towards Christmas. I know that it is not entirely fair to couch Christmas in terms of the external forces that have wrecked havoc on my life, but I am human and from time to time the external will creep into the internal. It would be ideal if I could set aside my feelings of hurt and stress long enough to revel in the decorations and good will toward men, but that simply will not be the case this year and I am at peace with that reality.

Even though I will not be decking any halls this Christmas, I will be enjoying some much desperately needed time off from work. Assuming no stray ornaments or Christmas trees land on my head, on Christmas day I hope to cuddle up with some hot apple cider, warm blankets, some can’t wait to read books and articles. Also on the agenda is to hopefully draft some more blog posts and check out the billion and one websites I have bookmarked on my laptop. I don’t know how many of the things I’ve planned myself during Christmas will come to light, but if even one of these things happens, I will be over the moon with joy. My goal is to distance myself from all of the hoopla surrounding Christmas that I am just not into this year and instead carve out time to decompress and enjoy the simple things in my life. If there is someone in your life that is not feeling Christmas this season, please give them the time and the space that they need to work out whatever it is that they need to work out. Don’t cast your version of the “perfect” Christmas on anyone else, don’t harangue them to participate in Christmas activities and events. Coming to an authentic place of healing requires not only time, but the ability to be honest with oneself and others.

May I encourage anyone who is feeling less than jolly this Christmas to try to find at least a few minutes of solitude during the day or night, indoors or outdoors. Do not allow yourself to feel bad about not living up to others expectations when it comes to Christmas.  You are not obligated to be the picture of what others deem to be appropriate Christmas behavior, whether that behavior stems from a secular or  religious viewpoint. Don’t worry, Christmas will be here when you are ready to come back.

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About musingsnyc

I'm a self-professed iOS app addict who loves reading, writing, surfing the Internet and my hometown, New York City. In 2000, I graduated from the City University of New York, Hunter College, with a degree in English (writing concentration) and Political Science. In August 2009, I received an online MBA degree with a specialization in Public Administration from the University of Phoenix. For the past 8 years, I've worked as a Paralegal in the Immigration Law Unit of one of the largest not for profit law firms in New York City. Prior to my work as a Paralegal, I worked as a Traffic Coordinator and Assistant Account Executive in a New York City based Hispanic advertising agency. Throughout all of my different work and school experiences the one constant has been my love of writing. As long as I can remember, I have been jotting words down in notebooks, pieces of scrap paper, and just about any surface where ink would not dissolve. I have always been eager to share my thoughts and opinions about what is going on in the world and my personal life via writing. It would be a dream come true if I could channel my love and passion for writing into a full-time or freelance opportunity. My goal is to share my thoughts, opinions, life experiences in a thought- provoking and entertaining way with all that drop by. I love interacting with people and thus would love and greatly appreciate all feedback via the comments section of this blog.

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